...were the first words out of his mouth - and he could have. He was one of my first clients when I was first out of school. He was six feet tall and young and muscular. He proceeded to tell me how he carried an ax handle in his truck and ran people off the road when he didn't like their driving. He wanted me to know how mean and tough he was.
I don't recall much else about that hour, but the minute it was over, I RACED down the hall to my supervisor's office and said, "What should I have said?" The supervisor's reply astonished me. He calmly said, "Tell him you won't hurt him! Why else would he threaten you, if he didn't think you would hurt him?"
It did make sense. He was afraid I would tell his wife to leave him.
It was a good lesson. When people are angry with us, it may well be because they're feeling scared and threatened - not because they're mean or evil. I had to help that young man feel safe so he could find new ways to show his wife he cared.
– Bill Rucker